letting loose

Wow, I didn't know so many things could happen in one week! The past week has been ridiculously insane, with everything that has gone on! We'll start with last Thursday night, and work our way up to today:
Last Thursday night a few of us went over to Joe and Kelsey Testa's, our mentors, to talk and hang out. We ended up sharing our testimonies and talking about them. I finally openly shared about some struggles I've been having with my music, and playing. Constantly in high school I was torn down and told that I wasn't good enough, that I had no business being a music major, or playing violin, that I sounded awful, I wasn't good at what I did, etc. At one point, Joe point blank asks me what I want to hear from God this summer. Well, I've already had a goal of hearing from God a direction for my life. Joe just says, No, I think you need to hear that you are worth something, that you are a good musician and that is your gift, and that it is a ministry to other people. WOW! That whole night and the next day God kept speaking to me about it.

Last Friday after work, Beth, Rachel, Mitchell, and myself hiked up to the top of Eagle Cliff Mtn. (you'll find pictures from that under the My Photos link). Wow! What a view! That night we went to the Open Mic Night at the Rustic Cafe. For the first hour I couldn't even sit there because God kept speaking to me, very loudly and very audibly. Finally He said, Look you are worth something, I gave you the gift of music, and you've buried for far too long, and you're either going to hear Me and listen to Me, or you're going to keep running further and further from My blessings. Wow! I found Emily and we sat and talked for awhile and prayed about it, and I said, Ok God, if this is what I'm supposed to do, You'll provide. Not 10 minutes later Andrew shows up, asks me if I'm going to be playing, then asks if I want to do something with him. So I ended up finally playing in front of a group of people again at Open Mic Night. And it felt like God was lifting 1000 lbs of guilt, shame, disappointment, and inadequecy from my heart.

Saturday morning Taurence and I went to the Admin. building to hang out, and Matt and Rob found me and told me they wanted me to play Tues. night at the LT service. That was really awesome. Sunday I worked, and Monday after work Shelley, Beth, and I tried climbing Emerald Mtn. We got about halfway up on some HUGE rocks we climbed when a storm rolled in and we had to come back down. Tuesday was work, and then that night I played at the LT service. I didn't even feel like I was on a stage, or in Hyde Chapel, but like I was with God. Just me and God, and I was playing for Him, and it was beautiful. I felt free, very very free.
Yesterday was Project Group Day. We went to Summitview West, a Great Commission Church in Fort Collins, and served there cleaning and painting and helping them out. Their church is HUGE! And it's beautiful! Then, we went and had dinner at IHOP, my first meal outside of the YMCA, and it was amazing! We also went to Colorado State University in Fort Collins that evening, and did some evangelizing. There weren't a lot of people there in the evening, but those we came into contact with were the ones God sent our way. CSU has a beautiul campus!!! Today I slept in a fair amount, the most I've slept in while out here, and had lunch with Emily and Beth, Sarah, Brooke, and Casey. Then Emily and I hiked up Bible Point and spent the afternoon up there having some time with God (and getting a little sunburnt). It was glorious!
So, as you can see, it's been quite a busy week around here. Now, we'll get to some other good things.
pause... breath.....

Ok, so work has been a little trying in the past week. God's definitely been teaching me patience through my job. There's a lady that works with us, she's usually there in the mornings, and we've been having the hardest time working with her. She likes to do things her way, and we've been having some major communication problems with her because of this. So, needless to say, the encounters we've had with her while trying to get things done, haven't been so pleasant. A lot of us are very frustrated with her, and are trying our hardest to keep our cool with her.
On a good note with work, Monday I got put in the kitchen because they were understaffed and needed help. It was a lot of fun, and the supervisors and our general manager, who works as a chef back there on Mondays, really enjoyed having me around (or, that's what they told me at least). I got to make the chicken for lunch, which was a lot of fun, and help make food for dinner. What was really nice was on Tuesday morning when Roger, one of the chefs, made it a point to come out to the dining room and find me while working and tell me how much he appreciated me working with them on Monday and my enthusiasm and my spirit. That actually helped get me through Tuesday morning.

God's also been giving me some great time with some people one-on-one to talk and hang out in the evenings. The past few nights I've been up really late talking to people. Monday night Emily and I were out on the front porch talking about God-things and frustrations, and Nick, Joe, and Aaron were sitting on the other side of the porch playing music and talking about other God-things. Taurence was also out there with us for awhile. It was definitely a God-ordained night. Tuesday night after the LT service I was up really late sitting out on the porch talking with Joe and listening to him play guitar. We had a really sweet conversation about music, teaching it from the heart and not the head, and just different kinds of music in general. He's a really sweet guy with a passion for music. The stars were also beautiful that night, once it finally cleared up. We also had a good spiritual conversation too. He's not a Christian, but believes in God. And hangs around a bunch of LT people. Last night, I think may have been a favorite though. I was hanging out in the lobby with Beth and Emily when Nick walked in and we ended up sitting up pretty late into the night talking and hanging out. It was really cool because I've known him since my 2nd day here, but we mostly just talk and screw around at work teasing each other and making jokes (which is also one of my safety walls I put up too). But it was really cool to just have some serious conversations about life and stuff like that.

Oh! The website is up! For those of you who don't know, or don't remember, I'm a writer for an internet magazine me and my friends are starting, about bringing a shapeless God to our box-shaped culture. I encourage all of you to check out www.withoutconcept.com. There's only a few articles on the site now, but more will be coming!

Overall, God's been in everything that's gone on in the past week and it's been simply amazing. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up on here everything that goes on in the next week, too. Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement everyone, I really appreciate it!